My fall teacher outfits post turned into a thought journal around all the judgements I’ve been seeing… every direction I try to look. *scroll past novel if you only want to see what I wore*
Lately it feels as if the world has forgotten about the content of one’s character. If we’re going to be making judgements about other people, shouldn’t our judgment criteria be based on that? How do we even decide or know what someone’s character is anyways?
Is it by who they follow on social media? Which posts they like? Which posts they share?
Is it by the words we use? In written and spoken form? Are we being politically correct enough? Are we using inclusive language?
Is it by the way we look? I’m just going to leave this one right here.
Is it by the way we act in our everyday life?
Is it in what we don’t say? What we do say?
Is it our political preference? The color of our skin? How much money we have?
Is it the music we listen to? Movies we like? Causes we choose to support?
Is it in our position of power and what we choose to do with that?
Is it by labels that other have placed upon them or the labels they have placed upon themselves?
Is it in the way we make other people feel?
The way we make other people feel? Now that’s something we have absolutely no control over.
Unless we are aware of how that something makes them feel and we choose to do that something anyways and repeatedly… then a person should be judged on the merit of how they choose to make some people feel… positive or negatively.
Why are we judging any one anyways? Most likely because something they do makes us feel uncomfortable. Is it the person or their belief? Their action? How they portray their thoughts?
Having a difference in opinion or belief doesn’t have to turn into a personal judgement on another person (or student), yet it so often does. I withhold so much of what I think and what I want to say because I understand how people’s judgements hold power and equally how people’s judgements can be wrong. Judgements are based on a mixture of our own experiences and how we interrupt the actions of others. Not every person judges in the same way. Not every person is judged in the same way… and not every judgement holds equal, if any, power, and not all judgements are negative.
For me, with adults (not kids), I am most likely to judge you if your words and actions do not consistently align, in any form of the various types of interactions I experience or I observe… This can be on social media or in person. If what I hear doesn’t align to what I see, I start to see red flags.
With that being said, people can change. People can grow. Who I was a year ago is most definitely not who I am now.
I remember getting called out over and over again for having “Title 1” in my Instagram profile bio a few years ago. White privilege. I must think my job is harder because I’m at a title 1 school. Bragging about the challenges I’m up against every day. That’s basically discrimination, you know, kids aren’t title 1—the services they receive are. You must want a pat on the back. You must want people to know how good of a person you are. White savior complex.
No one ever bothered to ask me why.
Through my actions and words, I was trying to build awareness. I was trying to show how much I love working in a title 1 school and what it was like… and combat the negative images and stereotypes people do have about working in a title 1 school. Regardless of all the accurate or inaccurate assumptions that were made about the reasoning why I had that in my bio, what’s the reality of the title 1 situation? Most teachers would rather work at non-title 1 schools. Evidence? Teach for America. Staff turnover rates. They have to incentivize it through loan forgiveness. I was trying to show my real perspective and experience in hopes that maybe a teacher who usually would pass on working at a title 1 school, might consider it because they were exposed to a different and authentic narrative… and the students could benefit… but I was trying to change perceptions. I was trying to destigmatize.
I only deleted it once I was subbing and not full-time teaching. I work at a title 1 school again and maybe someday I’ll add it back.
Labels hold power… but the story we tell within those labels hold even more power. I’m not trying to be a wordsmither for change or a “I’m going to educate you when you don’t ask for it because you’re wrong” person for change, I want to be a storyteller for change. I want to take my experiences within the labels and share them… all while listening to the stories and perspectives of others. I want people to connect their own dots and draw on their own experiences and decide for themselves who they want to be. That is my choice, that is my goal. Just because someone does it differently than you, doesn’t mean they need to have evidence of your judgment. We don’t have to shame each other and we can make assumptions without it being hurtful. If you have questions, ask. If you don’t agree and it’s important to you, share your perspective and experiences. Give people information to reflect on without shaming them into changing who they are.
I just want to live in a world where I can be me. Where my students can be who they are. That is the world I hope to be playing a role in creating.
Self-awareness of ourselves allows us to find self-acceptance for others. It starts with us. Do the work and stop perpetuating shame and hate. We can have different beliefs and still be friends. Not every person, in every label group, has the same experience—we have to stop assuming they do. There is truth in everything and somethings are wrong, but calling people out for different beliefs? Forcing people to do things against their will? That’s not the type of world I enjoy being a part of.
I’m going to get better at showing up and sharing… and facing the judgement and assumptions of other people—the positive and negative ones because I truly believe that’s how we lead the way. I choose to lead this way because that’s what feels right for me and I choose what I choose to share when I feel ready. That is a part of being me. And without judgement, I honor those parts in you.
If you’re going to judge me, I hope you judge the content of my character before judging me on anything else… however one chooses to judge that.
Anyways, here are my outfits:
turtleneck: amazon | skirt: target. similar, + similar | shoes: nordstrom, similar (only $34.99) | rug: amazon
top: express (xxs) | pants: amazon (size 0, true to size) | shoes: amazon (size 7.5)
dress: h&m – old, similar (also very cute, here) | boots: nordstrom rack
top: target (x-small) | pants: j.crew factory (24, p) | shoes: walmart (size 7, I sized down and they fit perfectly!) AND ONLY $9 | backpack: APL
sweater: h+m (x-small) | jeans: gap (24 regular) | shoes: walmart (size 7, I sized down again and they fit so wonderfully)
with kindness | ashley
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