Life update: same blog, a more experienced teacher, and a fresh start

the D E T A I L S
homebody sweatshirt: maurices (x-small) | jeans: loft (24 r) | scarf: maurices (only $10!) | rainboots: asos (7) and only $80! | rings: stella & dot

Blogging is definitely not like riding a bike, especially when so much in the world and in technology has changed over the last year. After abruptly leaving the teacher blogging world last year, I can’t even describe all the feelings I’m currently having as I type this post. Other than I’m BACK… and I’ve missed you guys… a lot.

I don’t really know how to process everything that’s happened over the last two years on this platform yet. The gist… The people running the education system have broken thousands of teachers over the years… and I was almost one of them. I whistle blew against people of power in my former school district, endured immense amounts of retaliation, was diagnosed with PTSD yet still continue to stand for what I believed and how I should be treated, and learned a hell of a lot about myself in the process… which forced me into this beautiful and terrifying fresh start.

I’m recently divorced, moved back to my very tiny, microscopic small town on a little island in the middle of the sound in Washington, living in the guest bedroom of my best friend from high schools parents house/farm, and just recently accepted a job as a guest teacher… for the school district where I received my K-12 education… all while in the middle of a pandemic.

There have been times when I felt like I’ve lost everything… and to be honest, I actually did. Some by choice but a lot was out of my control… in both my professional and personal life. Some of which I was prepared for, most of which I was not. Whistleblowing, retaliation, the system, the laws, the corruption and how deep it can be in public education… and what to do about it and how to handle it…and how it impacts relationships… all things I wish I would have learned in my teacher preparation program, but I’m thankful I have learned it now… well and am still learning it. It’s taken me a while to get back on my feet, but now that I am, I wouldn’t change a single thing… as mind-blowing as that might sound… but changing a single thing would alter all of the incredible things I currently have in front of me and to change that, wouldn’t be worth it.. Life is so weird sometimes.

I have been able to find so much beauty in having every thing in my entire life ripped away… and that is this second chance at life, this true and real fresh start, both professionally and personally. Which lets be honest, when you’re an educator, they are kind of one in the same. One impacts the other and there really isn’t a way around that… and if you disagree, please, please, please can we talk. I would love to learn from you. But with a fresh start, I am in control now. I get to choose, with what I have control in, how the rest of my life is going to go. I get to incorporate back the parts I loved about my former life (this blog, YAY!) and was able to remove the parts that weren’t suiting my heart and soul, while at the same time adding in new pieces that do.

Every day I wake up and am thankful for another day to rebuild my life– all aspects of it. I’m still in the earliest of stages of every thing… rebuilding my career as a guest teacher (fingers crossed soon to be doing special education again), my personal life, my health, my blog, my community… and I can’t wait to grow through that journey along side you… and continue to learn from you and share with you my style, lessons I’ve learned, my resources, and for us all to continue to grow as educators together. *back to the blogging is not like riding a bike statement, ha… I don’t even remember how to add a photograph into this post……. guest teaching hopefully will go a bit smoother, lol… along with 2021…*

It’s funny the way life works. In 2017, I started this blog as a way to find my voice again after being involuntary transferred to the school I was out. 3 years later and being involuntarily transferred away, the circle has closed and I’m right back at the start… not of this journey but my education. It’s true what Yrsa Daley-Ward said, “and sometimes you meet yourself back where you started but stronger.” I am so much stronger, so much healthier, and so much more me.

The last thing I will say is trauma is powerful. Trauma scatters you, reshapes you, and leaves you with a choice: to break, to remain, or to evolve… and you can only evolve if you’re surrounded by love. I’ve thought a lot about my former students and my future students during this time and the one consistent that remains is our ability to love our students, all of our students, is how we build their strength and resilience to face all of the different challenges of life. The educators that taught me the importance of love being present in all aspects of the classroom are now the teachers I will be guest teaching for… I now get to guest teach alongside the teacher, who is now a principal, that is a major inspiration behind my career… and that is the beauty in having my entire life shattered and choosing to evolve into a fresh start. As educators and humans, our lives our hard, but we are strong… and by applying the same virtues we teach in our classrooms to our own lives, beautiful things are truly possible.

So here’s to embracing my fresh start, back where I started… in a good ol’ small island town… population 13,000!