TUESDAY D E T A I L S
Skirt: size x-small | Top: Kids size Large | Shoes: size 7.5
WEDNESDAY D E T A I L S
Top: size xxs | Jeans: size 24 | Shoes: size 7
THURSDAY D E T A I L S
Overalls: Jane.com | Shirt: size xxs | Shoes: size 7.5
FRIDAY D E T A I L S
Top: size xxs | Jeans: size 24 | Shoes: size 7.5
This week I cried during a meeting where I was explaining I was at my capacity. I felt it, but I didn’t actually know what it meant when I said it. Capacity for what? All I knew is it felt like one more thing after another and things kept adding up. Meeting invites kept being sent out, expectations for working together, teacher need… It wasn’t until another aggravating situation yesterday where I had one of those moments where I realized which aspect of my capacity was tapped out: supporting others, while my need for support has been going unmet.
I can support others when I have support, but I can support students no matter what. I was getting support the district and supporting teachers confused with solely the idea of supporting students. To me, it all goes hand in hand– and in a perfect education system, it would. We don’t live in a perfect education system and while people are “trying to change the system”, i’ve realized the system isn’t where I thought it would be at this point, and until it changes, my only focus in my students. I was letting the anxiety and fear of the conflicts, differences in beliefs, and knowing the ideal support each student need, start to effect my capacity.
When I don’t know how to support a student, I figure it out on my own. I don’t complain about it, try to send them somewhere else, I learn and grow from it. Not every adult thinks that way, but they won’t ever learn if I enable them by constantly being there to support them, especially when I feel I have no one there to support me, if needed.
Trying not to let the past creep up on us is hard… and I was letting it happen. I also thought it was effecting my overall capacity to support students… I was wrong about that. I know what changes I need to make and once I realized that, I feel a world of a difference. If you’re starting to feel like you’ve hit your max capacity, try to sort through what it is that’s making you reach that point. Make a list of all the things you’re frustrated about and try to figure out a theme… find out what you can control and change it.
After a crazy week full of working with law enforcement, meetings with my district office, and surprises from all around, I’m excited for next week because I have a plan on what I need to do for my self and my students… all of which are things I can control, not anyone else.
I hope everyone has an incredible weekend of reflection, relaxing, and netflix 🙂
WITH KINDNESS | ashley
